Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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