That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize