I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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