sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
