Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
