I need help removing her.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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