I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
