you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Randomize
