We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
