I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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