Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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