So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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