Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
