she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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