This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
