you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Everything about him screamed your future.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
