btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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