Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize