Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Someone signed my nipple.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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