pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
