Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
