Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
