69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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