I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
