No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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