i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
my shit smells like andre
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
