Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
