Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
