You don't have asthma, your pregnant
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
