Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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