Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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