And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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