just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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