bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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