I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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