It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
