it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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