I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
