I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
