how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I stole a fireplace last night.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
