Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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