i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
