so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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