You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
