How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
