I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
