he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
