My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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