"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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