on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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