Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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