the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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