i think my mom watched the whole time
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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