Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
