Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
