come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
The feeling are messing with the penis
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
