I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
