Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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