God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
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