This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
