i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
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