just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I want to stick my p in your. b.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize