Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
