oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I need water and some morals
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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