ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
