i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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